Recovering from COVID seems to be taking an eternity although, in the whole scheme of things, 15 months really isn’t that long.
Every time I thought I was getting better, I would return to my old ways and slowly, my symptoms would creep back. I believed that a successful return to work and physical activity, two things I have closely identified with during my lifetime, was the answer. If I could just get back to the job I loved and hop back on my bike, everything else would fall into place. I would finally close this chapter of my life and resume what I was “doing” before I got knocked off my feet by this nasty virus.
During these past months, I have slowly and sometimes painfully, adapted to a new way of living that doesn’t involve working or biking, which still blows my mind. In June, I reluctantly retired from my job of 31 years and a few weeks ago I finally put away my beloved bike away until further notice. I am discovering the beauty of letting go of what was and accepting what is.
The first month of my retirement has passed by and I am totally committed to a new way of being. Every day is a new beginning and I “do“ very little. I have learned to stop the thinking that clutters my mind and make choices that break the momentum of thought. Long slow walks in nature (without my cellular device!); gardening (go figure :)); meditation and yoga keep me rooted in being. I am learning that
I am in the process of building a new foundation to support wellness in my life. Self care is no longer something I feel guilty about and what I used to consider balanced goes much deeper than I could ever have imagined. Although I still suffer physically, the pain is much less. I have faith that eventually I will be able to resume parts of my old life.
Moving forward, I will not compromise my rootedness in being. This is my anchor and I am confident the next time I get hit by a tsunami, I won’t fall overboard!
In my suffering I have found joy and continue to be grateful for all that is.
Wishing you wellness,