Hope

It’s been a long while since I’ve written. To be honest, I was waiting for the day that I felt like my old self but, who is that truly ? I have slowly come to the realization that I can’t remember what it feels like to be pain free and full of boundless amounts of energy and that it’s ok. I have let go of the expectation that things will ever be the same again and this is not a bad thing. I believe that I have finally learned to accept what is and focus on the goodness of the moment. When I wake up in the morning, I no longer say to myself that I can’t believe I’m still suffering and instead, thank my lucky stars that I’m alive and have so much to be grateful for. It’s truly a much better way to live. 

To have hope is to believe that things will improve if not now, then sometime in the future. I am more in touch with my inner self than I have ever been and this my friends is a beautiful thing. As one of my favourite yoga instructors Brittney from Pure Yoga once said, “There is nothing easy about the foundation building blocks. Sometimes we like to skip them and go into the more advanced poses right away. We then wonder why we have a hard time holding them.“ Adopting a totally new way of living  takes time, patience and practice. I always have to remind myself that Noah’s ark wasn’t built overnight ! For years and years my life was anything but balanced and realignment is a process. 

After 19 months, I have reached a turning point and now consider myself to be a COVID survivor. I have taken back control of my life and feel empowered. Rather than concentrate on my body and its weaknesses I have started to dig deep within and am opening up to the infinite possibilities that life still has to offer. 

I am discovering what it means to be fearless and am free from the anxiety that once covered me like a wet blanket . It feels amazing 🙂

In two weeks time, my husband and I will be travelling to Europe to meet one of my daughters for the Christmas holidays. I am fully aware of the risks and will take all of the necessary travel precautions within my control. Don’t get me wrong ….I have evolved and am much more calm than I have ever been  but will still carry 6 Ativan in my infamous travel pouch, in case of emergency  !

Wishing you all a beautiful holiday season, full of much love and joy . 

Will be in touch in the new year. 

Until then, be well my friends!

K

PS I wanted to share a video link that may be of interest to some of you. I was happy to share my COVID Long Hauler experience in support  of the Bruyere Foundation and the Bruyere Research Institute. 

4 thoughts on “Hope

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  1. Hi Karen,
    As always, thank you for reaching out and sharing so much of yourself with us (me!). I was, genuinely, soooooo happy to see your face featured in this news video, and that contagious, warm SMILE of yours. Also, so wonderful seeing your daughters… and Shawn Marshall!… my mTBI doc! I felt connected with you all over again, just like I instantly did when we met for the first time at Volunteer Services. Anyhoo….I’m excited for you, knowing that you’ll be travelling to Europe to see your daughter! An abundance of love to you! Safe travels. Enjoy the ride… XOXO Cathy

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    1. Hey there girl ! Thanks for your lovely note 🙂 I’m so glad that we met and even though it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other in person I still very a very strong connection to you . Much love to you too . I hope you are continuing to enjoy your time in Victoria ! xoxoxo

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  2. Hi Karen! What you wrote makes so much sense. We’ve both suffered from anxiety/panic disorder for so many years, the way you describe your acKceptance of gives me hope. Karen, how about we both remember the funny side of it, i.e. calling ‘911’ or running into the funeral home … Hope this brought a tiny smile to your lovely face! Lots of love always! Lise

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