8: In retrospect : 2020

I have started to come up with my own theory as to why my COVID symptoms have taken so long to disappear. 

When the global pandemic struck my life like a bolt of lightning, I hit the ground running. It was so stressful on many levels. If I were to do it all over again, there may be a few things I would have done differently. However, I could not have avoided the challenges at work. I had a job to do for the greater good. I believe that I contributed something that made a difference in the well being of those in need, so no regrets there. 

Here’s to 2021!

I do believe that the level of stress that I endured for days and weeks on end and the intensity of it all, affected my immune system making me more susceptible to catching the nasty.

Should I have continued to work so intensely when my symptoms started? Was insisting going for a bike ride during the early onset of symptoms wise? Nope, but that’s in the past. 

Throughout life we are faced with challenges and choices. Do we wallow in self pity or figure things out?

Round 1 – Crisis mode 2001

I have a history of anxiety and was diagnosed with a panic disorder many years ago. I was in “fight or flight” mode most of the time and it was triggered by the daily stress I was experiencing in everyday life. Instead of figuring it out how to better manage my stress, I went on medication. The natural tendency is to want to make our symptoms go away. I was a busy working mom and I didn’t have time to explore coping mechanisms, so I took the easier of several difficult routes. In hindsight, I never dealt with the root cause of my anxiety. I eventually got off the meds but resumed my crazy fast paced life of constantly “doing” and caring for others. I rarely took the time to just “be” and care for myself. 

Round 2 – Crisis mode nearly 20 years later

When I got really sick, similar to years ago, I just wanted the symptoms to go away. Life sucked and I wanted to resume my pre-COVID lifestyle. This time, however, there was no quick fix because there was no treatment, or so I thought. 

COVID literally stopped me in my tracks and I was forced to sit and take time to contemplate life. These past months, I have learned so much and although I have struggled both physically and mentally, I am coming out the other end of the tunnel a better human being. There are things that I have incorporated into my daily routine and a variety of interventions that have proven to reduce my symptoms, in particular, nerve pain. 

After my personal experience with the traditional medical system, I took it upon myself to create my own treatment plan. As one of my dear colleagues said to me, it would be selfish not to share the resources that I have discovered these past months, with others who may be suffering.

My initial motivation for creating my blog “Coffee and Chardonnay” was to support other COVID long haulers through their experience. I have come to realize that anybody struggling to survive this crazy ride we call life,  could benefit from these coping strategies.

We are all spiritual beings living the human experience and I hope that you can take away something meaningful and apply it to your own situation, whatever that may be.

I am so ready to close the 2020 COVID chapter and look forward to embracing 2021 with all my heart and soul. 

Bring it on 🙂


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